The Importance of Saying No



If you're struggling to set boundaries and say plain no, please stick around, this post will be helpful. I used to be a "yes, it's fine, let's do it" kind of person - and for a long time. I just couldn't say no. The habit of saying yes when I wanted to say no got me in places and situations I wished I didn't get myself into.

I may have learned the hard way but at least I know better now. I try to focus more on the lesson than how I learned the lesson. Here are three important reasons why it is importantto say no:

It Sets Boundaries 
First and foremost, no is like a superpower of setting boundaries and protecting yourself from people, situations and things you just do want to involve yourself with. Boundaries are needed for healthy and working relationships (friendships, romantic relationships, etc). When you set boundaries and say no, you are be able to make time for the things that you actually want to do - it is a component of self-care.

It Protects The Feelings Of Those Involved
Imagine agreeing to showing up for someone because you got carried away by the excitement or pressure and then you realise that you actually can't make it. The guilt of it, but most importantly, the hurt or disappointment to the person you said yes to. To protect both your feelings, take a step back and think. Here are two things you can say to politely decline: 1. That sounds very lovely, however, there's something I have to do on that day or 2. Thank you so much for thinking about me and inviting me, but I'm afraid I won't be able to make it.




Less Stress And Anxiety
I have learnt during my "yes" days that I had so much stress and anxiety trying to keep up with promises I made. I wished I could change the plans but I had already agreed. This caused so much conflict for me, left me with less time for myself when what I really wanted was to relax and be by myself. I am now mindful to what I agree on. It helps me stress less about letting people down.

I am not saying you should always say no, I don't say no all the time either, but a yes should be a mindful one. Show up for your friends and loved ones as you'd loved for them to show up for you, but create a balance. Have you had a problem saying no to the people around you? How did you/are still fixing that?

34 comments

  1. This is a great post. It’s something we should all think about.

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  2. This is so good to read! I think a lot of us feel we have to say yes to many things and it certainly creates stress and anxiety. Saying no is a great way to maintain boundaries which are so important to our overall well-being. Thanks so much for sharing this!

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    1. You took words right out of my mouth. Yes! Thanks for your comment :)

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  3. This is such an important post! Saying no is something I've struggled with pretty much my whole life but is something that I'm working on now. Since doing so I've definitely noticed a decrease in my stress levels too - it gives me much more free time! Thank you so much for sharing x

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    1. I'm glad you're starting to do what's right for you. Saying 'no' other times does really do you well and saves you from joining spaces you don't want to be in. Thanks for your comment x

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  4. Great post! We often are more worried about upsetting others that we put ourselves out. I'm great at saying no now, but it was something I learnt over a long time.

    Corinne x
    https://skinnedcartree.com

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    1. I'm happy for you! This boundary is necessary. Thanks for your comment x

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  5. Learning to say no is so important. Changed my life when I began putting myself first. Thanks for sharing.

    Jordanne || Thelifeofaglasgowgirl.co.uk

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    1. That's great to hear, Jordanne :) Thanks for your comment x

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  6. What an informative blog😊

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  7. I definitely was a yes gal. But since the pandemic it gave me time to reflect and now I am better at saying no even at work. I agree that saying yes can cause a lot of stress or even burnout. Thank you for sharing xx

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    1. I'm happy you've found a way to help yourself get out of the habit if saying yes. Thanks for your comment πŸ’•

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  8. I used to have a problem with saying no as I was a people pleaser and always wanted to say yes. Thank you for sharing this post.

    Lauren - bournemouthgirl

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    1. Aw! You're not alone, but it's good to learn and get out. Thanks for your comment x

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  9. This is super important for me as someone who says yes to everything because I have the fear of being disliked. Great post :)

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    1. Create a balance. I am happy you found this post important for you :)

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  10. Learning how to say no and is so hard for people... especially people pleasing women. I am fortunate to have realized the importance of 'no' in my 20s. I consider it a source of self-preservation. You're right about it helping to avoid disappointment for myself and others. I had to value myself and my time before other people were going to. Such an important lesson to learn. Thank you for sharing.

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    1. It is definitely a source of self-preservation and more. I'm so happy for you on being able to value yourself so young and learning to say no. I'm sure that helped you with a lot. Thanks for your comment :)

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  11. I really love this post and I really love the message of it! I have found that saying no was something I have been struggling for awhile now and now I'm trying my best to set boundaries! Thank you so much for sharing x Penny / www.whatdidshetype.com

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    1. You're welcome! πŸ’• thank you for reading.

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  12. I like to dress up my 'no' by saying...."ohh..that sounds like so much fun...but I've already met my 1 outing/day quota. Most people laugh. In the past, I was always afraid declining things would make people angry; now I am more aware of my limits.

    Crystal | www.amazingbaby.app

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    1. I like this so much! These limits are really keeping up safe. Thanks for dropping by :)

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  13. This is such an important post. I really struggle with saying no, as I’m a bit of a people pleaser. I always tell myself I’ll be strong next time but when caught in the moment my natural response is yes ok! πŸ™„ thanks for sharing.

    Jade MumLifeAndMe

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    1. Aw! You just have to practice it until you're able to decline. Don't push yourself to a yes when what you really want to say is no. You'll find the courage :)

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  14. Learning to day no is a technique everyone should master. My life became a lot simpler and happier for doing it!

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  15. I used to find it hard to say no but not anymore. It is impossible to keep up with everything everyone else wants. You are so right in everything you mention here. Thank you!

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    1. Absolutely hard to keep up with everything everyone wants. You can also do so much. Thanks for dropping by!

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  16. It's so important to say no when needing to! Like you said, it's a good way to set boundaries and also not to spread yourself too thin in terms of your daily to-do list! x

    Lucy Mary

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    1. I love what you just said here, Lucy! Absolutely. Thanks so much for your comment.

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  17. Thank you :)

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  18. This blog post brought me a new light and perspective on saying no. You made excellent observations here that I really didn't give much importance to before. I totally agree when you say that we should be more mindful of the yeses we say. I'll start paying more attention to it with your words in mind. Thank you for sharing!

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